My Life Without Me (2003) Reviews

• Death Becomes Her

  noralee2003-10-19

  "My Life Without Me" shows off Sarah Polley's beauty and acting that has been clear to her fans since her "Avonlea" days. In writer/director Isabel Coixet's first English language feature, Polley takes what could have been a drippy, maudlin story of a dying young mother and turns it into a clear-eyed path to accepting early death and taking charge of the hand that's dealt you. This delicate view is in sharp contrast to Hollywood tripe like "Sweet November" where beautiful healthy women in denial die of Movie Star Disease. When Polley's "Ann" gets her death sentence from a doctor who can't even look her in the eyes, she resolves, among other items on her "To Do Before I Die" list, to tell it like it is -- but finds that instead everyone around her spills out their inner-most problems and she doesn't get to, including an amusing effort to get a Milli Vanilli-loving hairdresser to cut her hair like she wants it. Perhaps it's because she chooses to lie to them about her imminent demise. Not only does Polley get to use her full-fledged Canadian accent complete with "Eh"s, but until I read it on her imdb bio I didn't know that when she was 11 Polley lost her mother to cancer, so she must have had personal experience to draw on. The imdb credits do not include that the script is based on a short story by Nanci Kincaid, "Pretending the Bed is a Raft," with additional inspiration from a poem about a young women's death by John Berger, who is thanked prominently in the credits. The symbolism of Ann having met her husband at the last Nirvana concert is also played upon several times. The music selections are lovely, both the romantic-sounding European ballads from one character's sister's DJ mix tape and the original music by Alfonso Vilallonga, that are poignant and keep out the schmaltz. Polley's supporting actors are wonderful, from the lively children to Amanda Plummer, who has been MIA from films for a while, and Debbie Harry as the depressed mother. There's a couple of resonances of the TV show "Felicity" as not only does "Ann" leave voiced-over audio tapes to her loved ones, but, yikes, even dying, "Ann" gets both gorgeous sensitive hunks Scott Speadmen and Mark Ruffalo to love her. It's effectively shown, though, that one was the love of an adolescence that ended too soon with parental responsibilities and the other of her too-short adulthood.

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• A thoughtful and subtle film

  lisa_at_imdb2005-03-06

  Ann lives in a trailer with her considerate but not very thought-provoking husband and their two children. The trailer is very crowded and so is Anna's life. A mother at 17 Anna has never had any time to ponder about her life but she knows it might not be very fulfilling. When she finds out that she is terminally ill she has to face the choices she has made and that was made for her. She decides to make a list of all the things she wants do in the short time she has left, both big and small. This is where Mark Ruffalos character, a considerate and thought-provoking love-interest, makes an entrance. This films moves slowly towards the inevitable end without ever becoming boring. The relationships between the characters are displayed by emotions and subtlety rather than words. The film has a very sad theme but is in many ways very hopeful. It shows that life can trap people down but also that every person has something special which can be used to change lives. I found this film to be warm, unsentimental, thoughtful, sad and uplifting. A bit like life itself. If you liked this film as much as I did I can recommend Wilbur wants to kill himself and Before sunset.

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• Pretending the Bed is a Raft

  Benedict_Cumberbatch2005-05-31

  The plot of this beautiful film seems a trivial melodrama, but the way it was told by scriptwriter/director Isabel Coixet makes a great difference. What could have turned into a hollow movie only made to make you cry, became a deep, witty and truly heartbreaking personal journey into a young woman's mind, Ann (beautifully performed by Sarah Polley). Ann is 23 years old, has two little daughters and one attentive husband, Don (Scott Speedman). They're poor and live in a trailer settled down at Ann's mother's back yard, but they're happy. When Ann gets to know that she has a terminal cancer which is going to kill her in a couple of months, she decides to live to the fullest - and doesn't tell anyone about her weak health state. Isabel Coixet led everything wonderfully, and the entire cast is magnificent (even Scott Speedman is pretty good). Amanda Plummer, as Ann's obsessed-with-food friend, proves definitely her taste for bizarre characters (what's far from being a fault, in her case); Deborah Harry is surprising as Ann's bitter mother; Mark Ruffalo (one of the best actors nowadays), as a lonely man who falls in love with Ann, is captivating and passionate, and Leonor Watling is not only a beautiful Spanish girl. Maria de Medeiros and Alfred Molina enrich the film with their small parts. Everyone is great, but Sarah Polley definitely rules. She is much more talented than 95% of current Hollywood young "stars". Gwyneth Paltrow, for instance, would be ridiculous as Ann; but as Sarah Polley hasn't got 'starpower', she didn't even get an Oscar nomination. It's OK. Sarah doesn't need an Academy Award to prove her talent, and we won a great actress.

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• A life without you

  gustuk2005-03-24

  I picked up the cover of this film several times before I rented it. The subject somewhat interested me but I also thought it was too familiar, almost like a cliché. (Someone finds out he/she is dying and it changes his/her life.) There are so many reasons why I am now so glad that I finally did rent it and I am sure most of them have been covered by other user-comments. The acting was convincing, the soundtrack was great etc. but what I liked most and what moved me most was how it sincerely and beautifully conveyed messages of love, not only Ann's love of her family, friends and lovers but the love she found of herself and of life itself, awakened by the discovery of her untimely death. I watched the film by myself and I recommend that you do so also, not because you will get emotional and may start to cry, which you might, but because you will probably be more honest to yourself in your thoughts if you are all alone. If you are dishonest to yourself you are leading a life without you.

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• a weepie par excellence

  paul2001sw-12003-11-21

  Really, this film should be too much to bear. An attractive young mother discovers she has 2 months to live and sets about trying to make use of her time doing things for herself and the people she loves; but keeping her diagnosis to herself. The film intentionally concentrates on the start of this period, allowing it to soft-focus the pain, and from a certain perspective, everything works out with an almost synthetic convenience. And yet this is a great film. All the performances are spot on (even Debbie Harry is great against type), and it's full of humour, not black death-defying humour but the life-affirming humour of everyday life. Additionally, the film is wonderfully constructed, both in the skill with which it moves between scenes and also in the larger way the story in told (the entire plot is structured around an eventual suicide that is only implied) - cloyingness is averted through the confidence the director has in the tale and the cast. Death is surely never this romantic, but in its own way this film is as harrying as Mike Nicholls' 'Wit'. A painful film, but one that makes you glad to be alive.

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