7 Witches (2017) Reviews

• 7...(Well 6) People Who You Don't Really Care About...

  dcarsonhagy2017-05-10

  I absolutely despise movies where the "plot" is given away (or guessed--take your pick) within the first few minutes. Such is the case of "7 Witches", which offers nothing remotely entertaining. It seems Kate is going somewhere in the back woods of northern Washington to attend her lesbian sister's wedding. The viewer is immediately made aware the two sisters do not like each other. I was amazed they would have actually survived growing up together, but I digress. Kate is being wooed by her schoolmate, who she also cannot stand. Doesn't seem like Kate likes ANYBODY, so why she would be invited to a wedding, much less wooed, is another question you will ask yourself. While trying to check into a rental property, all sorts of ominous signs abound, but we're going to have this wedding. People start to die, the viewer witnesses several ways to cook fish and other seafood--The End. This movie failed on most levels because there were no characters anyone would care about, save for the pot-smoking Paula. At least her character seemed real, and it also looked as if she knew what acting was all about. I despised Kate because, well, she was despicable. The rest of the cast was somewhere between community theater and Amateur Night at the Bijou. Rated R for violence and sexual situations.

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• Unbelievably Bad

  claudio_carvalho2017-05-23

  Kate (Persephone Apostolou) travels with her former fiancé Cody (Mike Jones) to the house of her estranged parents for the wedding of her lesbian sister Aggie (Megan Hensley) with Rose (Danika Golombek). Kate and Cody pose as if they were engaged and after the lunch party with her family, they head to a remote place where Rose's family lives. They have dinner with the weird family of Rose that wears black and they go to the beach for the pagan ceremony. However Kate and her aunt Paula (Macall Gordon) stay behind since Paula is not feeling well. Soon they discover the creepy secret of the dark family. "7 Witches" is an amateurish horror B-movie unbelievably bad. As previously mentioned in another reviews, the storyline is original and had potential. Unfortunately the screenplay and the execution are awful and in the end watching this film is a waste of time. Last but not the least, the viewer sees a bunch of cannibal killers and no witchcraft despite the dumb title. My vote is two. Title (Brazil): Not Available

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• Don't waste your time

  maknusia2017-12-05

  seriously folks, ain't worth it. Don't waste your time. Forget, about the story, screenplay, acting, etc. The music alone will kill you! And I'm not kidding, everything in the movie is so lame, let alone the plot. Sgain the biggest killer is the music, the flow is more like a drama with all the repetitive talkings.

• Art-House pretensions that actually work

  tattoopig2017-05-12

  I can honestly say that this will be one of the talked about films of 2017. It is beautifully filmed in faded splendor, an almost black and white film of discordant images, jarring score and an all-encompassing sense of dread. The costumes the witches wear are beautiful, the more you look at them, the more detail you see. The character actors playing the witches are visually stunning, even though most of them don't have any dialogue. All I want to tell you about the plot to this film is that it takes place at a wedding ceremony set near a forest, along a coastline that is shrouded in fog. More than that you should not know. DO NOT watch the trailer to this film!! It gives everything away. The film is only 71mins long. Just long enough to get all the hair on the back of your neck standing up. The film is almost art-house in design and execution, but just remains this side of mainstream so as to be accessible to all. It is not a film that relies on gore for effect, but rather places the audience into a very uncomfortable atmosphere. If you enjoy films such as "The Witch", you are going to want this for your collection!

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• Pretty Bad But I Liked It Anyway

  michaelant5552017-07-18

  A lesbian family member is getting married and the family is going to spend the weekend on the site of a disused government fort for the ceremony. When they get there they find that her partner's family live by a very old fashioned and austere regime; almost like you would imagine oldy-world, strict Catholics to be. They say they're descended from the persecuted families of Salem, but are they as simple and innocent as they seem? I've given this a 4 instead of a 3 because I quite enjoyed it and I managed to watch it right to the end. I nearly gave it a 3 because of the music score which grated on my nerves, throughout. Music is a subjective thing, so I could be being too judgemental here, but this has to have the worst music score I have ever heard in any film I've seen. Some may think it's appropriate for the atmosphere of the film; I thought it was absolutely awful and spoiled the whole thing (for me). That said I tolerated it and got through the movie. Did I regret watching it? No! Would I put it on again if a friend came round? Maybe as a warm-up movie if we had something better to watch afterwards.

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