Blutgletscher (2013) Reviews

• Stop Eating That Banana While You're Crying!

  jabrbi2014-07-25

  You know how things are. There you are in a scientific research station 3000m up a mountain when suddenly all sorts of horrific creatures start turning up wanting to eat you. We've all been there and laughed about it the next day. There's nothing really special about this film. It's a solid workman-like horror film that doesn't do anything wrong compared to other horror films, but it doesn't lift itself up to iconic-level cult status. The acting is good, the scenery is fantastic (or very bleak and forbidding depending on the mood required), the setup works as a way of isolating a group of people and the mechanism for creating the creatures, whilst being completely bonkers tripe, does allow for any crazy mix of chimeras that you care to think up in your worst out of body experiences. It's never explained where the 'organism' that creates the nightmare creatures comes from, and whether every chimera created survives to become a viable creature, or why this organism has suddenly appears and in such numbers. However, most horror films are just as bad at explaining things so I don't hold it against this film. Although the number of people is limited, there is a high death rate, most of them being suitable gory but, sadly, the one you really want to survive is the first to get it in the neck. The minister's character is superb. The minister is a woman, thankfully breaking the stereotype/cliché of useless women, and boy has she got guts, presence and a working brain. Anyone who says something stupid, does something stupid or just gets in the way are soon put in their place, hence the "Stop eating that banana while you're crying" title. Yes, there are the obligatory idiots, but you know they're idiots, as does the minister. As well as the minister there are three other capable characters. Sadly, the hunky body guard gets it in the chest before he has a chance to take his shirt off (boo), but the technician and his ex at least realise the danger they're in and don't stand around screaming, carelessly leaving doors open, or walking straight into the jaws of some nightmare creature. At one point a young woman appears being chased by a creature and she seems to then fill the role of screaming bint and incubation chamber. There seems to be no point to this character, and the role of incubator could easily have been given to banana-eating woman. The ending is a bit flat. There's the inevitable scene where we know that the crisis is only just beginning, there's the jump scare at the end, but you can spot it coming if you're paying attention, and everybody left alive makes it off the mountain. But there's no great feeling of achievement at the end. One of the survivors telephones for a helicopter, just like phoning for a taxi, and off home everybody goes. This is a competent film that stays well within its intended milieu and delivers a solid experience that many will appreciate, if not enjoy. I liked the film, but a little more attention to the plot, and a bit more slapping from the minister would have raised this film to an 8.

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• "We Will change forever".

  lost-in-limbo2014-05-31

  Walking through my local DVD shop I came across this title, "The Station". Quite plain sounding, but it was the comment at top of the case that caught my attention; "A slice of horror reminiscent of John Carpenter's 'The Thing' ". Being at massive fan of that film, I decided to take the chance and in some regards the Austrian made "The Station" comes close. Hey I even enjoyed it more than the prequel / remake that came out a year or two back. What it has in common with Carpenter's film is more so the ice setting, an unknown threat that is a single-form alien organism transforming the local wildlife into gigantic monster mutations and hybrids. It's like "Day of the Animals", but on steroids! Then there's the ending that only paints the apocalyptic mood playing out. This is a basic straight-face creature-feature at heart with a climatic cautionary warning, which tells a simple story that effectively lays it out with a strong grizzled protagonist (a very solid showing by Gerhard Liebmann), well timed suspense, gruesome thrills and a sense of mystery of mankind's fate. The final frame of the film is surprisingly effective in its suggestion, but they spoil it on an uncalled for tacky jump scare. The premise is far from unique and quite down-pat; a group of scientists/ technicians discover a glacier of blood (an inspired image when shown) high in the mountains, which after testing the liquid discover it contains an alien organism. As they try to survive and hold up against the effects of this organism, on a hiking trip to the station for an official visit is the Minister of the Environment. The feature is slickly photographed (despite some shaky camera movement early on) and makes excellent use of its vast, breathtaking backdrop. There's a definite sense of isolation and uneasiness, but never does it struck a feeling of claustrophobia and dread. The tension seems to unfold from threatening situations and the punctuated shocks. Its momentum is fairly sedate, but it becomes crazy, excessively so as it goes along and the director keeps a fairly tight hold. What I got a kick out of was that CGI was virtually little, if unseen, opting mainly for traditional special effects and they do pay-off. The creature designs are creative and horrific with beetle-fox hybrids, giant wood lice, flying crossbreeds. There's a whole range of beasties… and they're not friendly. Squamish moments are plentiful and there a creepy developments. While the generic script doesn't over feed itself, still it had some issues like an appearance of a sudden character for them to only disappear with a poor explanation. The performances are adequate, without anyone really standing out, other than Liebmann. Clichéd, but fun, strange sci-fi / horror monster romp. And the title "Blood Glacier" sounds so much better.

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• Fun Mutated Thrills

  gregsrants2013-09-14

  Gleefully mixing the best elements of films such as John Carpenter's The Thing, David Cronenberg's The Fly and Frank Darbont's The Mist, director Marvin Kren (Rammbock) brought his latest effort, The Station to the Toronto International Film Festival as an entry in the Midnight Madness Series that showcases the best in horror, thrillers, science fiction and fantasy. The Station takes place in the remote and scenic location of the German Alps where three males, one female and a dog work tirelessly in their modest laboratory monitoring climate change through glacial reduction. On the day before a VIP from the Ministry is to visit, the researchers stumble across a glacier that is leaking a red liquid that makes the ice look as if it is bleeding. The red compound is determined to be organic and is having an effect on the local wildlife morphing ordinary creatures into modified and mutated beasts. Infections soon appear in human hosts which add to the terror and the some of the life-and-death decisions that the group must make in an effort to stay alive until help arrives in 24-hours. Large cockroach type creatures, mutated foxes and goats and a modified bird of prey are just some of the interesting and devilishly deadly beasts that rampage upon the outpost putting human lives in jeopardy as The Station dives head first into the horror genre. And the visiting crew of six add both a sub-plot (a former love interest) and appreciated humor via actress Brigitte Kren who just happens to be the director's real-life mother. Gore and 'yuck' moments in The Station abound and thanks to the ingenious method to which the mutations occur, there is no shortage of creatures lurking both inside and out of the shack the survivors find themselves holed-up. And director Kren seems to relish in the freedom the genre parameters allow him. The eco-disaster backdrop has a small social commentary attached and the setting of the film all but ensures that dumb big-titted teenagers are not around to dumb down the proceedings. This all adds up to an exceptionally fun and wild ride and was a crowd-pleaser during its World Premiere at the Toronto Festival. Some too quick editing and a very ill-advised and implausible final scene keep the film from being compared to on the levels of The Thing, The Fly and The Mist instead of just referencing the titles with the lead-in 'in the vein of'. The Station should be sought out despite the two aforementioned flaws. Hollywood doesn't make too many horror films that stay focused on the horror and the story without shoehorning sex, good-looking stars and enough sub-plots to choke a Voorhees. The Station, in contrast, stays focused in delivering the entertainment value and is likely to end up on our list of one of the Top-10 horror films when the year is clear of genre entries.

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• Old and new school effects with no glossy teen beef dripping

  amesmonde2014-01-06

  A team investigating climate change discovers a mysterious organic substance that has the ability to transform both animals and humans into terrifying mutations. This is an entertaining well made eco-horror film in the vein of the Thing (1982). Director Marvin Kren as with zombie flick Rammbock delivers a satisfying and interesting entry into a saturated horror genre with surprisingly effective at times well realized gory effects. There's some jump moments, old and new school special effects and It benefits from an un-Hollywood quality cast including Gerhard Liebmann as Janek and Edita Malovcic as Tanja but the real star of the show breathtaking Alps setting and H. G Wells-like impressionable provoking ending. While not as tense or physiologically claustrophobic as The Thing (1982) this German language science fiction is adult orientated for those tired of glossy, poorly directed, teen beef and pork dripping tripe. Recommended

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• Return of the Son of the Ibex-fly Thing

  Kingkitsch2015-12-10

  Really, how many movies feature ibexes, let alone a mutant ibex-fly that gets a drill in the noggin by a feisty granny? This may entice you to watch "Blood Glacier" next time you see it in the Netflix lineup of terrible, terrible horror/scifi movies. If you dimly remember having heard about this Alpine tale of terror, it's worth a six-pack and a bag of chips. While beautifully photographed, offering amazing views of bleak ice and mountains, this movie hasn't got a clue what it wants to do. Convince you of global warming? Scare you with mutant hybrid creatures that look like stuffed animals you'd win at a carnival? Tear your heart out with thwarted love and dog death? Make you laugh uproariously at the absolutely insane behavior of "smart" scientists? Teach you not to cry while eating bananas? BG is all this, and more. Throw these movies into a blender: The Thing, Alien, Day of the Animals, Old Yeller, Sound of Music, and that moldy oldie from the 50s, Night of the Blood Beast (the very first movie to speculate that humans make great hosts for birthing alien infants). Turn on blender. Wait about 80 minutes. Pour out your scifi smoothie and wonder how this ever got made. Take a drink of your liquid every time someone says "rabid fox", which in German sounds like "rabbit fuxes". Tack on one of the strangest endings you'll ever see and wonder if someone slipped LSD into your movie smoothie. No kidding. Pray there's no sequel. Four stars for insanity. One star for Tinni, the best goshdarn dog actor in the world. One star, because ibexes. Six is the magic number for this smelly sausage of a movie that features someone walking around a glacier in dirty underpants. Enjoy the schadenfreud!

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