Nativity 3: Dude, Where's My Donkey?! (2014) Reviews

• Cinematic equivalent of Ebola

  taffwob2018-01-03

  I had to sit through this dreck as I was staying at someone's house & they were sat in front of it like a potted plant. Not moving, not showing any visible signs of sentience but still watching it. At one point she spoke up, "I think this is made for children." At this point I lost my composure. "Made for children? It's made BY children and I hope they're ****ing orphans."

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• The film is an ass

  Prismark102017-12-09

  Nativity 3 very much scrapes the bottom of the yuletide barrel. Martin Clunes is the new teacher Jeremy Shepherd who along with his daughter Lauren is looking forward to getting married to his fiancée Sophie (Catherine Tate) in New York but he is also wary of her ex boyfriend, a famous singer who plans to do an impromptu flash mob for Sophie. Mr Shepherd has to deal with Mr Poppy (Marc Wootton) the man-child classroom assistant who has recently been sacked by the new temporary head teacher in advance of the school inspection. Mr Shepherd loses his memory after being kicked in the head by a donkey. Mr Poppy plans to take the school kids to New York by winning a flash mob contest in London and also hopes to get Me Shepherd's memory back so he can marry Sophie. I think only the very young would like this dull film. School kids randomly start to sing and dance for no reason. The story is thin and grossly stupid. Mr Poppy should be locked up to protect the children and when the story moves to New York he inexplicably starts to behave like an adult.

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• This is a seriously bad film!

  San1522015-01-02

  I enjoyed the first Nativity film and the second was tolerable, but this film goes off the chart of dross! Absolutely the worst film I have ever seen. I am a fan of Martin Clunes, Catherine Tate and Celia Imrie but how they could attach themselves to this film is beyond me. How did it get green lit? How did it get a budget? Why didn't someone say, 'This is a truly dreadful movie, please don't inflict it upon cinema goers?' The script is excruciatingly bad and makes no sense whatsoever - even given that it is (supposedly) a comedy and the boundaries of normal suspension of disbelief can be pushed a little further. ****SPOLIER**** Unlike the two previous Nativity films random and ever changing numbers of children keep breaking into poorly choreographed song and dance numbers. The prospect of an Ofsted inspection is introduced but does not form any part of the story, there are some truly awful and cringeworthy cardboard cut-out characterisations and what can I say about the donkey...? It's called 'Dude, where's my donkey?' But after using the donkey as a device to make Martin Clunes lose his memory, and bringing it back at the end to dance at the top of the Empire State building, no one is looking for the donkey. And as for the way Martin Clunes gets his memory back... seriously? Believe? I absolutely didn't. ****SPOLIER ENDS**** Please save your money, save your sanity, save yourselves! Don't bother...

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• Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind was more of a comedy

  anwenhayward2015-03-10

  This film is the haunting tale of a man who receives a traumatic brain injury and develops severe amnesia, losing his entire identity and becoming a hollow man, with nothing but a name to himself. Watch as a formerly intelligent, articulate man is reduced to babbling and bumbling around, becoming a grotesque parody of the jester figure; coerced into parading around in funny outfits, much to the amusement of his tormentors, unable to recognise what, exactly, is so funny as he struggles to remember the name of his own daughter or how to connect with his family and the woman he loves. With his mental faculties reduced, his ability to relate to his fellow man diminished, and his sense of self completely erased, the man is kidnapped by a learning disabled teaching assistant and must rely on the assistance of a group of neglected, displaced children to teach him about his own past and, perhaps, the true meaning of Christmas. But hey, there are some pretty nifty fart jokes.

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• Really Bad

  teamkinguk2016-03-08

  After loving the first movie in this series, then enjoying (to a lesser extent) the second movie, I expected this one to be in the same vein. Unfortunately, it is bad. Really bad. Instead of England and school children, we are subjected to Clunes and Tate. In America. Hollywoodised. And not funny enough to carry this movie. Yawn. Mr Poppy tries to pull this movie up, but just doesn't get there with the combination of US and UK humor. This series has so much potential. Bring back the original school, Pam Ferris, and keep it in England with a fun semi-realistic storyline. Hopefully this dud hasn't ruined a future.

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