The Band (2009) Reviews

• A Review in Haiku

  junkrawk2009-12-17

  Rock'N'Roll Porno. With a Scooby-Doo Ending. And Bad Editing. I stole the idea of doing a review in Haiku from a blog I saw somewhere the other night. This movie had potential, but I don't feel that the creators put enough thought to fleshing things out a bit (or adding to the budget to be able to add more footage). They could have used longer, more explicit sex scenes and I don't mean that because I'd want more porn; they obviously wanted to make sex the main purpose of the film and they kind of half-a$$ed it by showing simulated penetration and oral early in the film, but nowhere else. They also had a plot that was almost enough to tell a story, but they failed to make a case for there being a point to all this in the first place. There was almost a wrap around story with the "groupie", but I really wish that there had been at least something of an explanation. I do understand keeping the audience thinking afterwords by not explaining everything though, and that could have been the reason for the vagueness, but I kind of doubt it. On the plus side, I did like how they speed up the dialog ala "Chipmunk" style when they were doing (I'm assuming) cocaine. The cards at the very end were actually kind of poetic as well. The most distracting aspect to this was the editing. From the drums and other instruments not syncing up at all, to the breathing mismatches during the sex and masturbation scenes.

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• Almost a Porn...!!

  rockstarpj2009-12-10

  This is one of the poorest movies ever made. The plot line is terrible and the music tops the dreadfulness of the plot. The band and the song names used here are awful. While watching, expect love scenes to pop up out of nowhere every now and then, which are vaguely related to the plot line, if you can actually find any. The plot in brief: A girl is dumped by an arrogant and cheating rocker who goes on to ditch his band and start a solo career, while the dumped girl takes her ex's place in the band eventually besting him in the music career and also becomes a lesbian. How stupid is that?? Also, the supporting cast does not back out in amplifying the film's horrendous structure. So; bad plot, bad music, bad acting and bad directing. I can consider only one reason for watching this movie... if you wanna catch some porn with a musical plot line!!!

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• Sex, more sex, some drugs and rock 'n' roll

  Verbal_K2009-10-30

  So I've seen this movie on DVD and in my opinion it is poorly done. The fact that this really has a raw independent visual style and some (o.k., quite a lot) provocative explicit scenes of sexual content and - that's the best thing about the movie - a good score, earns some sympathy-voting-points. What I'm missing here is a story worth being told and some humor. I'm quite sure, that this movie is not about a male rock-star leaving his girlfriend, whereas the girl is finding her way as a singer of "The Band" and it's not about finding her love (or is it?). Like I've seen it, it is about lesbian love and male-bashing (cause the men all act like idiots). Dear Mrs. Brownfield, do you really, really think that's what men are like?

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